Deciding to change your life in some way can feel overwhelming. These life coach tips will build your self-confidence and provide reassurance that you can do it.
The moment you make up your mind to change your life is truly liberating. You’ve spent time putting up with things that either made you unhappy or caused discomfort. Then you've dreamt of, talked about and researched how to change your life or lifestyle to have more joy/freedom/income/time/space.
80% of adults in the UK have made the decision to change their lifestyle in 2021
Maybe you want to move house or location, change your career, start a business, become a parent, end a relationship, go back into education or undergo a total life reset. You’re not alone, 80% of adults in the UK have made the decision to change their lifestyle in 2021 according to a survey of 5,000 adults by Public Health England.
Not long after your liberating, 'the-world-is-my-oyster' moment, fears or negative thoughts may creep in to disintegrate your determination and sabotage your life-changing plan. Thoughts such as ‘this is unrealistic, maybe I can’t do this’, or ‘what if my plan fails?’ or ‘maybe I should wait a few more years’ start to pop into your head.
Your mind wants to keep you safe
This mode of self-talk arises because your mind wants to keep you safe. When your mind knows your routine, environment and thought processes, it feels safe because it can anticipate what happens daily & there are no (or few) changes or ‘threats’ to ‘protect’ you from.
As you start to think and behave differently, the mind starts posing questions and doubts via your self talk. The key here is to know that these are just thoughts, not reality.
Here are five life coach tips to help you overcome these thoughts and reassure yourself that you can, and will, go ahead with your chosen life change:
Life-Changing Confidence Boost #1: Support Network
Reassure yourself by writing down who has got your back as you implement your life change. Who can you turn to for advice, support, reassurance or who can listen to you? It could be people in your inner circle (a partner, sibling, best friend, work colleague, your parents); as well as a business mentor, coach or therapist, your bank manager even or someone at the local council office who has helped you.
Know how to support yourself too; take care of your mental and physical health, get sleep, do what you can to induce calm and positive thinking; remind yourself of your answers to these tips.
Life-Changing Confidence Boost #2: Self-Coaching Questions
Ask yourself these two life coach questions and truthfully answer:
‘What will happen if I don’t do this?’ Will you stay where you are/ Will you remain unsatisfied or unhappy? Will you be frustrated or regret it later in life? Will you continue earning an unsatisfactory salary / living in an uninspiring place / staying in an unfulfilling job / remaining in a loveless relationship?
When I ask coaching clients this question, they often say ‘Absolutely nothing will happen’ which really strengthens their resolve to go forward with the change.
‘What will happen if I do do this?’ Answer this with positivity; Will you have a happier life? Will you have more time for the things you enjoy? Will you have a higher earning potential? Will you move to a dream house? Will you feel proud of yourself, liberated, free, fulfilled, inspiring, brave?
Life-Changing Confidence Boost #3: Keep a check on your self talk
Build awareness of your self-talk. Your mind may propose excuses or induce fear to delay or ruin your plan.
A helpful exercise is to write out all of your fears and excuses and have answers for every single one. For example, an excuse may be ‘I’ll wait until after date/Xmas/full moon>.
An answer could be ‘Why wait? What is really stopping me doing it now?’… to which you’ll realise you’re just using an excuse to delay.
Coaching can help you overcome fears and diminish unhelpful excuses so you can move forward in life.
Life-Changing Confidence Boost #4: Affirmations
Affirmations are powerful. They train your mind to think positively and to start mentally preparing for good things. Mental rehearsal is a technique top sportspeople use to help them win; you can use it to get what you want.
Choose between 3-5 positive and present tense affirmations. Repeat as often as you can. Say them out loud in the shower, in the car, on a walk.
Write them down when you can; manifestation expert Kathrin Zenkina suggests writing pages of your affirmations. Could you even sing them in private? I like to say them loudly and with passion whilst on a solo hike.
‘I am open and ready to receive’
‘Money flows to me easily’
‘I love my life in the countryside’
‘I am loved and safe’
Life-Changing Confidence Boost #5: Have a back up plan & be ok with it
Some people put all of their effort and energy into making Plan A work and don’t want to think about Plan B. This is a powerful plan which requires a level of confidence and guts which some of us reading this article may not have.
Having a solid back-up plan or Plan B will help you to feel reassured that if Plan A doesn’t go according to plan, you will be okay, you will survive, the world will not end.
Spend time considering and researching your back-up plan.
And ultimately, make sure you are happy with the outcome Plan B offers because if you’re not, you won’t want to rely on it and this defies the point of Plan B!
Working with a life coach and using NLP therapy will help you reach your goals quickly and build your confidence and your motivation. I am a certified Life Coach and Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP Practitioner. Book a free 30-minute Discovery Call to discuss how life coaching and NLP techniques can help you. I am an online life coach.